omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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