I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
