Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
