He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
