Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
