So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
