Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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