i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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