i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize