I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i will never coherently bang her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
