i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
try to milk me bitch
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