you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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