So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
