3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
