it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
