You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
