after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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