Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
