Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
