how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just cropdusted the office
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize