dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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