Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think i have two assholes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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