Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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