When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
