D3 body, D1 cock
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
