is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
