found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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