Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The convent might be a nice break from real life
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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