it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
