I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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