with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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