No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
