I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
