is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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