Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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