I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
