She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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