are you still at the devil's house?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
