we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
