Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
