it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Randomize
