I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
