In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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