She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She bit a glass in half.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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