I just gift wrapped bread.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Found the puke drawer
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
