I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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