he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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