Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
