I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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