his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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