I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
