That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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